Stairs

I stuck this in because well...it fit my day and it's my favorite recut trailer.....enjoy

[Walter sees the new stairs that had been built]
Walter: Stairs! Ha! A Staircase! We have stairs!
[Dances happily on them]
Walter: Oh hello Mr. Stairs I've missed you.

Our house is a ranch....we own no cattle, there is no farm, just the ranch house....I guess that is where the name came from, one floor house, "ah, must be someones ranch" I grew up in about the most non-ranch house you could imagine....it was a city row-home in Baltimore...we didn't have one set of hard ass oak steps, we had two....

and every month, at least once, I'd fall victim to the "you should not be wearing socks while going down the steps, you might fall and break your neck" syndrome....I will say that the steps from the center level up were carpeted, but it was red long shag, stuck in the 1970's shag carpet.....I fell victim to the "don't wear socks on the carpeted steps" syndrome as well.....

These were actual things my mother said to me...looking back, she was right, barefooted or shoes, otherwise, sianara, see you next Tuesday (love that line from Father of the Bride, 2. when he takes both sleeping pills, which were not approved by the FDA)....but back to the stairs, we don't have any...life without stairs is, well life, I don't suppose you think much of it until you go to someones home and they have STAIRS....and you, by the time you have reached the top now need Paramedics to revive you and just so you don't forget that you went up stairs........your ass will remind you for the next three days....

Having stairs makes us use all kinds of quirky little body parts that unless you go up stairs, you must just not have any use for! Do you think that was God's plan or just a happenstance?

Our last house had stairs, carpeted oak stairs...as I was sitting at the bottom of them one night, crying...because yes....I slipped down them in socks and broke my tailbone....(at least it wasn't my neck) my mother's words came back to me ..... do you know how long it takes for your tailbone to heal and to stop hurting....let's see I did it in the late spring of 2006 and my ass still hurts....and when it does I am reminded to never wear socks on stairs...

I actually broke my arm falling out of a tree when I was 5, had it casted and screwed together....and managed to still slip down the damn stairs...my school photo shows a smiling pixie hair-cut child with a bruise on her chin....

Ah.....life without stairs.....is a life in a ranch house....be it the Money Pit or not....

Walter was so happy to have his stairs finally back, I guess lugging hot water in buckets up a 2 story ladder to throw in a claw foot porcelain tub to only have it and the water and the floor end up back downstairs (stairs are not actually required to go down, gravity takes care of that!) is, well enough to make anyone happy enough to dance around on their stairs like an idiot....and be ecstatic about it.

When I saw this movie I was a senior in high school....I went with my then boyfriend, Max (using Anna's husband's name here) my sister and her soon to be husband.....when the tub hit the floor and Walter had his fit of laughing, my sister began to laugh, and as Walter laughed harder so did my sister....the theater was full....but all you heard was Walter and my sister laughing.....I think she must have laughed so hard, she peed her pants (not actually but I bet you get my point)....but her laughing along with Walter got me laughing and I think I did pee my pants.....this is one of my fondest memories of our younger years...

Stairs...love 'em or hate 'em.....you just gotta have them sometimes.....