Home Improvement shows....

(Walter discussing the first day's work with the contractor, Curly)
Walter: What happened?
Curly: It was no picnic but those guys are work animals. Well everything looks pretty much under control.
Walter: It does?
Curly: Well not to the layman's eyes of course.
Walter: They completely ripped up my house!
Curly: They sure as hell did didn't they? They really ripped the guts out of it. They're work animals I tell you. Look at those holes huh? Then you've got your gravel piles, your sand piles, your scrap piles. Animals!
Walter: Animals.
Curly: Well I like a good conversation as much as any but I've got to run. Hasta Pronto if you know what I mean.
Walter: You're leaving?
Curly: Well I ain't moving in.

Now that we have our Money Pit quote of the day, exactly what have home improvement shows done to America's homeowners and homebuyers?

I watch these shows a lot...I enjoy them, I have learned a bit from them, but all and all, most of it is common sense.....in fact a lot of the products used and/or bought are virtually impossible to find.....unless sponsored by Lowes or Home Depot.....

But have they helped or hindered the home ownership process?

I am sure many have benefited by the processes or instructions they have seen on these shows....but in all honesty, most are common things that many homeowners have implemented long before the "shows" were showing you how..... my dad taught me a lot as a kid.

Like Paint. First it's neutral, neutral, neutral.....then it's color, color, color.....wallpaper (AHHHH) wallpaper, wallpaper....the trends are often determined by how many people follow these shows....and which manufacturer grabs the next best thing first and promotes it (on the shows)....vicious circle that design business...

The shows that provide these "renovates" add up their total amount spent, but often it does not include the cost of the labor to get it to look like that....like I have a handy dandy carpenter to whip out of my pocket that owns all the tools I could ever dream of having....yeah, well it was a nice thought...but no cookie.

Design to Sell has got to be the most guilty of this.....drag in the meanest realtor you can, let her butcher your home apart, tell you how to best present your show....and then have some designer (I assume who ever lives closest to the project) bring along her/his carpenter to renovate your problem house for $2000.00 or less.....but after the renovation, no one has any negative comments.....and as a 4 time home homebuyer/seller/owner....there are negatives in every house to someone, or to many depending on what their tastes are.....yet.....everyone that comes back to see the house afterwards, finds it to be absolutely perfect??? WTH? Perfection comes in the eye of the beholder, in fact if these statements or non-statements were factually honest, everyone would be fighting to buy the house/houses that were done....and as we all know simply by watching it.... that does not happen.....

Holmes on Homes.....I like Mike Holmes but his show scares the shit out of me....I find myself wondering, "could that possibly be something wrong with my house?....or "did, at some point a contractor come in and create an Electrician's nightmare out of my wiring and I am unaware of where it is?"....or "do I have mold behind the tile in my 3 bathrooms because the backerboard is 30 years old"....or a hundred other things that are pointed out that keep me up at night....

Design Star....now this show kills me....we spend all this time watching these Home Improvement shows and their wonderful, sweet, amiable hosts only to see them as judges on this show and watch as they become total assholes during the judging....yeah, got problems here.....

Home Rules....now I gotta say....What in the world does renovation have to do with a life coach? Most of the people on this show need serious ongoing counseling...a week worth of touch and go therapy and a renovated house....and in one fell swoop we fix their marriage and house....is there a charge for the counseling and the Renovation? Or just the Renovation?

In fact who foots the bill on all these shows? Design to Sell.....who absorbs that $2000.00 budget...?

I was, early on, when I used to watch Extreme Makeover, Home Edition TV show disillusioned into believing that these magnificent homes are basically free....but they are not, unless a bank steps in and pays off the original mortgage....the owners still have a house payment, albeit on a different structure.... (then lets talk property taxes on them.....)

Spice UP My Kitchen....UGH....the host on this show needs to take some medication to bring her off the ledge.....I can't watch this show....often enough the end result is nice...but having her along the ride with me would make me want to put a gun to my head.....take a chill pill lady.

Tough as Nails....OMG. And that is all I have to say on that subject.

Divine Design....this has to be the top show of my annoyance.....I really used to love this show.....loved the designer......until....I saw her as a judge on the Design Star show.... then it was all down hill. I can not watch this show without having my feelings about her and how she "acts" during the judging come up in my mind....I get that they are all "designers" but a lot of them were just contestants in the real life game of "Design Star" in who was the better pick for the new show through interviews with the powers that be at HGTV or the DIY network....instead of a TV Show....there is a way to beneficially criticize someone without them feeling like a noose would be a better choice.... so "Is Candice Olsen a total bitch, or can she get over herself in real life?"

Colorsplash.....I thought the new cure all for a home sale was all neutral, neutral, neutral, then in comes David with his beautiful colorful art and all his ideas on how to brighten your home with "Color, don't be afraid to use it" game plan..I guess unless you plan to sell your house then it's primer, primer, primer.....or so they say....

Bang for your Buck, you would be better off having an appraisal done then to be most likely insulted by the comments made by the show "guest" host and the realtor de jour.....

Income Property....I like this show, like his host....but he's a bit like Mike Holmes...makes me worry....and I can not stand when it is brought up time and time again how you should list your newly "renovated" space with the words "legal rental" ....I never rented a space that had to be listed as "legal rental" in a house.....and the owner foots the bill here, but honestly does it include the cost of the furniture used? (some of it leaves a lot to be desired)

A commonality of these shows always comes back to the kitchen....I have seen quite a few people just throw away their appliances and replace them for between $3000.00 to $8000.00 simply because someone said that they were "dated"....."dated" today is "retro" tomorrow.... and what about the environment? I think the one thing I would invest in more then any stainless steel (which will forever have fingerprints on it) appliance and that is a tankless water heater....but hell...I'd need three or four for the size of my house and having just had my warranty company replace both...I'm gonna pass right now on that...but I do have an energy efficient washer and refrigerator....simply because I needed to get new ones....(house had no fridge and my washer/dryer was no longer large enough to accommodate our family, a single guy now owns them) No Waste....

I also find the fact that some of the products used (stick on laminate tile for the floor) are deceiving to the new home buyer..... it does not last....they will shift....(had an experience with this that a game of spoons managed to undo in a couple hours)

I would imagine you have to pick your show that best suits what you are doing in life, because to watch them all.....contradicts your efforts....

All and all....I guess the benefits/hindrance is about even when you have seen every show at least once....but really, how many people out there leave HGTV on all the time.....

(raises hand here) I guess I'm one......

TRW

Stairs

I stuck this in because well...it fit my day and it's my favorite recut trailer.....enjoy

[Walter sees the new stairs that had been built]
Walter: Stairs! Ha! A Staircase! We have stairs!
[Dances happily on them]
Walter: Oh hello Mr. Stairs I've missed you.

Our house is a ranch....we own no cattle, there is no farm, just the ranch house....I guess that is where the name came from, one floor house, "ah, must be someones ranch" I grew up in about the most non-ranch house you could imagine....it was a city row-home in Baltimore...we didn't have one set of hard ass oak steps, we had two....

and every month, at least once, I'd fall victim to the "you should not be wearing socks while going down the steps, you might fall and break your neck" syndrome....I will say that the steps from the center level up were carpeted, but it was red long shag, stuck in the 1970's shag carpet.....I fell victim to the "don't wear socks on the carpeted steps" syndrome as well.....

These were actual things my mother said to me...looking back, she was right, barefooted or shoes, otherwise, sianara, see you next Tuesday (love that line from Father of the Bride, 2. when he takes both sleeping pills, which were not approved by the FDA)....but back to the stairs, we don't have any...life without stairs is, well life, I don't suppose you think much of it until you go to someones home and they have STAIRS....and you, by the time you have reached the top now need Paramedics to revive you and just so you don't forget that you went up stairs........your ass will remind you for the next three days....

Having stairs makes us use all kinds of quirky little body parts that unless you go up stairs, you must just not have any use for! Do you think that was God's plan or just a happenstance?

Our last house had stairs, carpeted oak stairs...as I was sitting at the bottom of them one night, crying...because yes....I slipped down them in socks and broke my tailbone....(at least it wasn't my neck) my mother's words came back to me ..... do you know how long it takes for your tailbone to heal and to stop hurting....let's see I did it in the late spring of 2006 and my ass still hurts....and when it does I am reminded to never wear socks on stairs...

I actually broke my arm falling out of a tree when I was 5, had it casted and screwed together....and managed to still slip down the damn stairs...my school photo shows a smiling pixie hair-cut child with a bruise on her chin....

Ah.....life without stairs.....is a life in a ranch house....be it the Money Pit or not....

Walter was so happy to have his stairs finally back, I guess lugging hot water in buckets up a 2 story ladder to throw in a claw foot porcelain tub to only have it and the water and the floor end up back downstairs (stairs are not actually required to go down, gravity takes care of that!) is, well enough to make anyone happy enough to dance around on their stairs like an idiot....and be ecstatic about it.

When I saw this movie I was a senior in high school....I went with my then boyfriend, Max (using Anna's husband's name here) my sister and her soon to be husband.....when the tub hit the floor and Walter had his fit of laughing, my sister began to laugh, and as Walter laughed harder so did my sister....the theater was full....but all you heard was Walter and my sister laughing.....I think she must have laughed so hard, she peed her pants (not actually but I bet you get my point)....but her laughing along with Walter got me laughing and I think I did pee my pants.....this is one of my fondest memories of our younger years...

Stairs...love 'em or hate 'em.....you just gotta have them sometimes.....

Finding the perfect nail or screw?

Art Shirk (Joe Mantegna) speaking to Walter Usually when a women calls a carpenter, she want the ol' hammer and nail."

Finding that perfect nail or screw can be a challenge during any DYI project, its not brain surgery but some thought process is used....I guess.

Take our do-it-yourself-because-it's-cheaper family for instance....one day our family began and we had no screws, nails, nuts, etc.....and now we have an entire 'family-life-time' of nails, screws, bolts, nuts, washers, etc.....

What happened? Well apparently someone didn't follow a whole lot of directions and things we own or no longer own are missing some screw, nut, bolt, nail or washer...because heaven forbid...why in the world do you buy these things in bulk? It's a curtain rod, it requires 4 anchors, 6 if it spans a distance....why do I have 50 anchors for that size? Well it begins with "Honey, do yo mind running to the store for me and ends with one word.....

WALTER

Today I had to go find a screw...one that would fit perfect in the whole I drilled and replace the screw I stripped out....yeah power drill did it....but when I go to do this....its like the hallway from Poltergeist when the mom is trying to get to her kids....it is really, really long....and somewhere music begins to play...the kind in a horror flick where you know something bad is about to happen....

But I tredge on and upon opening the door to the garage, I spot them....the tubs of nails, screws, bolts, washers, a master lock set, brackets for shelves, things I don't recognize or want to know what they did not make it into.....glaring. At me.....like daring me to come and search through them....and I full well and knowing, know without any doubt that I will not walk away unscathed...these tubs of left over, found, bought and plain "I don't know where it came from" items are deadly.....there is simply no telling what you will come across in there.

Today....it was a mini saw blade....just hanging out with his buddies the screws and nails and in a split second....blood. I am, an accident waiting to happen, or so my father often told me.....it was like the accident knew it was my day...and just waited in the wings to befall upon my unsuspecting fingers (leg, arm, neck, back and head). I can do about anything well....but the best thing I am good at...is apparently getting hurt....

Last year I dislocated my shoulder, subluxation....I did this to myself while using a table saw.....now most people cut themselves on the blades....requiring stitches...no, Anna here, I get my finger too close to the blade, hits the side (hotter then hell) and knowing I have cut off my finger (I actually just burned it on the saw blade), whips around so fast I partially dislocated my left shoulder, causing a SLAP tear....it needs surgery...I felt like an idiot explaining how I managed this feat.....the surgeon was not amused....and thus I have decided to permanently put on hold the surgery from any surgeon who has no sense of humor to laugh...it really was kind of humorous....however, I did not cut myself, so that is a positive, right?

Okay, I conceed, maybe you had to be there to get the full on humor/effect of the situation~ but I was alone, to put my shoulder back in I pulled a DIE HARD Bruce Willis and slammed it into the wall...I then laid on my garage floor screaming for about an hour until I could calm down enough to get up....why does that stuff appear so easy in movies? Okay, so maybe not so funny at the time....eh?

~TRW

The Arbitration Factor....

(Walter has come to one of his clients to ask him to loan him the money for the house, the client, Benny, played by Billy Lombardo, who is acting like a child over the whole episode, he was 17 at the time he did the movie)

Walter: There is a house I want to buy.
Benny: Lets just cut to the chase, Okay? What do you want?
Walter: I want you to loan me $200,000 in cash.
Benny: No.
Walter: Benny!
Benny: You shout at me?
Walter: I shout at you! I need that money and you are going to loan it to me.
Benny: No, I wont!
Walter: Yes, you will!
Benny: No, No, No!
Walter: Yes, you will! I saved you ten times that in taxes last year.
Benny: So what?
Walter: Benny, if you dont loan me that money. Ill...
Benny: Youll what? Huh? Youll what?
Walter: Ill... not like you any more!
Benny: ...All right.
Walter: Thanks.

Okay, all joking aside.....this is a serious issue facing all homeowners, but especially those buying directly from a large builder.....

Have you ever really read your closing documents on your home mortgage loan....you know, the ones you signed here, initial here and here and here and oh, you missed one, right here....and sign this....

This being the Arbitration Document....if you don't know what this is, please educate yourself in your area on your state mandated codes and statutes on arbitration...in a nutshell here is what it is.....

When there is a dispute after the closing, buyers and sellers can choose to arbitrate or litigate for a resolution. By signing the arbitration form, you give up your right to litigate and agree to binding arbitration. Though parties can hire an attorney to assist them with the process, they cannot take their
case to a court; they must file a request for arbitration. After the arbitrator makes a ruling, all parties MUST comply with the findings of the arbitrator."

...if you do not pay mind to this you could end up in a situation like these fine folks have.....

http://www.gosanangelo.com/news/2010/apr/17/building-frustration/

This home is located in the newest portion of the development that was added to the one where we live.....albeit that area was added about 10 years ago....while their home is not that old....what happened to them is a travesty and the fact that the builder/lawmakers did nothing for 2 years, not until they added their story to the Homeowners of Texas website.... should be criminal in the least.

And now....well, now there is an article about the Montgomeries in our small local paper....and their home...which has danger signs on it and "this house is going to be torn down" signs and lists the builder on the front windows..... sits....abandoned....the homes next to it and across from it, up for lease, for sale.....I would not want to be the house next door.....

Ironically enough, I remember our realtor NOT showing us homes in the Bluffs area of our Town because he said that they will fall down because of the soil....I did not at the time pay any attention to this since I knew he knew the area very well.....I suppose someone should have pointed that out to the buyers of all those homes....you know, like maybe THEIR REALTOR.....since they know for a fact that that specific area had a huge expansive soil problem....and apparently so did the lot where this house was built within walking distance to ours.

Scott Montgomerie on the condition of the lot:

After some research, Scott Montgomerie said he found the report on a September 2004 hydrogeologic evaluation study the city had done on water drainage problems in the Southland Park Subdivision, the Montgomeries’ neighborhood. It examined the reasons why water oozed up out of the ground, soil conditions and drainage problems — and focused particular attention on the lot where the Montgomeries’ house eventually was built, Scott Montgomerie said.

What baffles me about this is that per the San Angelo Standard times, the building commission states that soil sample testing is required per the building code, but no one had to provide that they had done it....so you have this code that is bound city wide but no one has to show proof....so I assume a builder can just lie.....because if he doesn't have to show proof, I'm pretty sure no one would hold him/her accountable for the proof they say they had....since it probably was never completed, because why do that....if NO ONE IS GOING TO FLIPPIN CHECK?....and this is responsible law making in what capacity.....face it, we live in an OIL RICH area, deep pockets and long relationships make being an outsider/newcomer difficult when you have Mount Everest in which to scale to have anyone pay attention to you....those pockets must have either gotten a hole in them, or the drycleaner reported the hole! But its still just a tiny hole.....in order to open this issue up, you need a hole along the lines of the GRAND CANYON!

Because of the arbitration document signed during closing, you can not sue the builder, you must arbitrate, the arbitrators themselves are usually in the same business and need no mediation training....so who comes out on top...usually the dude who can fill those deep pockets.....the tail kicker, you can NOT file an appeal of this decision.....

I am very glad this has come to light in an other way here locally....well other when I pass the Montgomeries' house, seeing this beautiful neighborhood, this beautiful house torn to shreds....and the pain the owners have had to endure.... The subdivision for the most part has no issues, but if it does.....I pray for those who buy it.

HAVE THE SOIL TESTED!!!! ALWAYS!!! ESPECIALLY IN TEXAS!

Arbitration....learn about it....know about it....educate yourself....you do not have to sign this document and if they say you do, don"t just walk away, RUN AWAY AS FAST AND FAR AS YOU CAN!

~TRW (the renovation wife)

Renovating.....101 post 1

Sometimes renovating can feel a whole lot like marriage.....or ...

A war zone...



Do you work well with your spouse/significant other? How about after 15-20 years...or do you both think you know more then the other?

A good military spouse (usually wife) knows when to go to bed.....its about the time the husband breaks off the water fitting under the sink at 11:30pm....

Sure it just came off....it just came off after you took a wrench to a turn faucet...

On a positive note, he cleaned it up.

Two Weeks....

[Walter has missed a meeting with the permit man, who got steamed and left]
Curly: If he ever does come back, you call me and we'll finish the job.
Walter: When I do get the permits, how long will the job take?
Curly: Two weeks.
Walter: Two weeks? Two weeks?
Curly: You sound like a parakeet there. "Two weeks! Two weeks!"
Walter: Well, two weeks. It- it's amazing.
Curly: Amazing nothing. It'll be a regular miracle.

When we bought our house it never really occured to me that for the size of the house, 3200 sq ft that the rather large master bedroom should have a larger walk in closet....I think mostly this was based on my recent years spent living the "single" married life while my husband, "Walter" was off fighting a war for five or six years.....all my clothes were in the bedroom closets and his, well they were kind of everywhere they would fit, hall closet, kid's closets...even the garage...yes I had banished his dresser to the garage, formerly only reserved for his "Army Gear", his now very UN-ARMY Gear was residing there as well....I mean really, was there a point for it to be in the house if he was not there? Yeah, that was what I thought too!

So after we had moved in and I realized that not only was the closet too small for my clothing, I had to take over all our dressers as well....and poor Walter was left to share our son's closet and, yep, you guessed it, he got the dresser in the garage again.... Now I really felt horrible about this, what man should have to live out of his garage, well, what one who hasn't managed to land himself there of his own free actions anyway.....and so began the drafting of the "Wall Unit" for our bedroom....

It really was just an idea, after I had laid it out on my handy, dandy graph paper (stolen from one of our children), drawn to scale, I sat down and determined that it would run me upwards of about $2000.00 to build it the way I wanted....eh, nice idea, not going to happen.....then I could not find a shoe one day and began researching the closet idea on the internet and guess what, you can order them to fit, just put part A into part B, screw part W in with a crescent wrench and wallah, you spent $1500.00 to screw it up.....but it sure was pretty to look at in the picture...you could also hire someone and pay them $500.00 to install it, and here we were back at $2000.00.....and I just could not see spending it for a few drawers and some extra shelves....

Then one Saturday last July I asked my husband to go to a yard sale with me....it was in the historic part of our city and I love the old houses there and mostly the things sold are worth quite a bit......I left with a beautiful pie safe, a great blanket basket and some very beautiful material....Walter bought cabinets..... closet cabinets..... Wall Closet Cabinets...... the family had enlarged their daughter's bathroom and had taken the closet space to do it....the cabinets were perfect for what I had designed....and thus began my closet project..... It was going to take me 2 weeks.....I was sure of it....I mean, how bloody hard could it be? I now know why people use pre-hung doors instead of trying to hang them yourself....it is not an easy feat to accomplish!

During the intense portion of the work, I had a paint sprayer explode on me, leaving my driveway and fence quite a nice shade of white....and I, well......I looked like Casper....I blew up a table saw (my poor craftsman) which almost caught on fire, thank God for Ice Tea, it puts out fire by the way..... I cut myself on more things then I can count, broke several drill bits, cracked the glass handles because I knew that the screw would turn one more time and it did....but the glass knob did not....dropped a door and those suckers are thin....put a hole right through it....I measured 3 times, cut once, but even that did not assure me that the walls were plumb and the slab under the flooring was level.....cause I used more shims then screws!

They are beautiful, they are 16 feet across the wall, two end sections are shelving..... 48 inches of shelves on one side and the other 36 inch shelves and a shoe rack, the center part had an opening 24x32 at the top, with a shelf in the center and there are 7 drawers below it.....in between each end and the center there is about a 32 inch open portion where I placed the rods for hanging clothing....one is double the other single for longer items. I put doors across the shelving and open spaces and modified an "ebay" find to fit the open space above the drawers...I placed the cabinets so that the faces were 30 inches out giving me additional storage behind them.....

I am very proud of myself.....but well.....

They are still not done, its been over 9 months since I began.....at night I stare at them and try to figure out my next move...all that is left is the mounting of the 1x12x8 times 2 above them and then the crown molding, but something just seems off....and I can't quite put my finger on it yet...I did install the mounting 2x4's above them for the front....but to move forward with it seems premature...

My husband asked me recently when I was going to finish "THAT" project....my answer

"TWO WEEKS, WALTER, TWO WEEKS!"

")

Really? Really?

[Walter and Anna are discussing the possibility of buying the house]

Walter: You know what this is? This is the short line in Motor Vehicles.
Anna: What?
Walter: Yeah! You go to Motor Vehicles to get your license renewed, and you get on this line that reaches to Spain, and right next to it is this little short line with only two guys on it, but you don't get on that line, 'cause you think something must be "wrong" with it - otherwise everyone else would be on it - so you waste three hours!
Anna: I got on the short line once. It was for farm vehicles.

We used a VA Loan to purchase our home....in the middle of the inspection our Realtor calls us, we lived in Georgia at the time and the house is in Hotter Then Hell Texas.....anyway, he says, we have a problem with the bricks on the house....the inspector wants to speak to you....so I called him....he then tells me that "your house is cracked".....I was like, "huh?" He said "the bricks....they have cracks".

So being the inquisitive individual I am, I asked him if it was the bricks or the mortar, he said the mortar....I then asked him why he said the bricks, he said, "oh, hell, you knew what I meant!" He is, apparently, a mind reader on the side!

Really? REALLY?

After an Engineer Inspector cleared the house for inhabitation....stating that the cracks were caused by settling....VA felt happy to fund the loan, which was really just a re-funding since it was already a VA Loan to begin with, the owners were also military.....we were good...but Mr. VA Inspection Guy....used this settling to reduce the value of the home....by 20k from the inspection 2 years before...

REALLY? Yes Really...... this is what I call in life, the dumbass factor! Get you dumb head out of your ass!